I wanted one peaceful night of sleep.
Aaptiv had made me an offer to join the team. I had spent the weekend thinking about it and had been obsessing over the decision. I told an adviser that I planned to decide before Monday morning. By Sunday evening, I had an answer.
I declined.
The business was not the problem. I believed Aaptiv had a large opportunity and that I could help build it. The scale of the commitment was exactly what made the choice difficult. Joining would require complete focus and a long stay. This was not a role I could try for a year and then reconsider casually.
When I left Shutterstock, my plan had been to round out my skills and then build a company from the beginning. Reonomy had given me years of work across technology, product, leadership, hiring, and company building. The Aaptiv process had reminded me that the second half of the plan still mattered.
Accepting another long operating role would postpone it again. I wrote that putting off the goal for another extended period was something I would regret.
Once I had decided, I sent the answer immediately. I wanted the next conversation to begin with a clear position rather than another round of uncertainty. I still planned to meet in person and wrap up any loose ends, while leaving room for Aaptiv to cancel or change the meeting after reading my note.
The meeting stayed on the calendar. My brief reply said I wanted that too.
The decline did not end the conversation. We continued discussing the role and its shape afterward. That mattered because the decision was about the offer and commitment as I understood them that weekend, not a rejection of the company or the people building it.
For that night, I had said what I needed to say. I could stop turning the same choice over in my head and get some sleep.